Loss

The sun went behind a cloud, and a pleasant coolness refreshed Larisa's body—the beautiful, strong body of a mature woman. She loved this quiet spot on the Baltic shore, where she could sunbathe alone, far from the crowded city beach with its constant bustle and the intrusive stares of men. Almost every summer she came to vacation in Pärnu and often came here with her son, Misha, who had recently turned eighteen. Today Misha had gone to the movies, and Larisa was alone. She took off her swimsuit and, naked, lay down on her towel, clasping her hands behind her head. It smelled of sea and pine, the sound of the waves induced pleasant daydreams, and Larisa dozed off.

—

"Hello, Aunt Larisa." — a youthful voice chased away the drowsiness. Larisa opened her eyes and saw two young men. She knew them; they were her acquaintances from the tennis court—the fair-haired, fair-skinned, somewhat effeminate handsome Evald and the dark-haired, sturdy Sergei. They were the same age as Misha and, like Larisa, were passionate about playing tennis. Misha was indifferent to tennis, but these two had been battling Larisa on the court frequently for the third year now. Lately, Larisa had begun to notice that the boys were becoming more interested in her than in tennis. The youthful infatuation of the guys amused her, and she jokingly called them her knights. Now the guys stood before her, literally devouring her with their eyes, and their swim trunks were betrayingly bulging in front. "Wow, the boys have gotten rich." — Larisa involuntarily smirked, remembering a funny incident. It happened right here, in Pärnu; Misha was about five or six at the time. They were sunbathing on the beach, and her son suddenly asked what men had in their swim trunks. Larisa jokingly replied that it was their main treasure.

— "Mommy, the uncles are looking at you and getting richer and richer." — Misha seriously shared his observations. Larisa laughed until she cried, and Viktor, Misha's father, grumbled gloomily that someone ought to tear that treasure off. He was painfully proud, suspicious, and constantly tormented his wife with jealous scenes. She endured it for several years, then filed for divorce. They parted six years ago, and Larisa devoted herself to caring for her son. She worked in television, earned decently, and she and Misha were not poor. After the divorce, Viktor showed little interest in his son, though he paid alimony regularly. Larisa sometimes saw him: he had started drinking, aged, gone bald, and grown flabby. Now Viktor could pass for her father, though he was only four years older than her. Larisa, however, had become even more attractive over the years. At thirty-six, she had blossomed with mature feminine beauty, and when she walked along the beach in a black bikini, the men around her "got rich" just as they had ten years ago.

— "Hello, guys," — Larisa was embarrassed, but at the same time, the situation amused her, — "Evald, please hand me my swimsuit."

— "Are you here alone?" — asked Evald, pretending not to have heard the request. He spoke Russian well, only, like many Estonians, he slightly drew out his words.

— "Misha will be here soon." — Larisa lied and reached for her clothes.

— "Misha went to the movies." — said Sergei, as if accidentally sitting down between Larisa and her things, — "Even if he comes, it won't be soon."

— "And why aren't you at the movies?" — asked Larisa. The boys' behavior was beginning to worry her.

— "We... we..." — Evald hesitated.

— "Came to gawk at a naked old aunt." — Larisa finished, looking mockingly at the embarrassed teenagers.

— "What do you mean old!" — Sergei sincerely protested, — "You... you... everyone is in love with you!"

— "And you too?" — Larisa squinted mockingly. She suddenly caught herself thinking that the attention of these boys was not at all unpleasant to her. Evald and Sergei silently sniffed, throwing quick glances at her. Larisa shifted her gaze from one guy to the other with her dark brown eyes, sparkling with mischief, and laughed loudly, shaking her short curls playfully. She always kept her hair short; her stiff, raven-black hair drove hairdressers to despair with its stubborn refusal to be styled into fashionable hairdos. However, the mass of thick, unruly hair didn't spoil her at all but gave her a special charm.

— "What, are we just going to stare at me and sniff silently? Since you've disturbed my solitude, entertain your fair lady."

— "Maybe cards?" — Sergei timidly suggested.

— "Rather primitive, but the choice of entertainment on the beach is limited. Deal."

The guys sat down on the sand. Evald took a deck of cards from his backpack, and the game began. Larisa suddenly choked on laughter, imagining how it looked from the outside: a grown, naked woman sitting on the beach playing cards with two boys. Oh, if only her friends and colleagues could see her now! The guys played distractedly; they were less playing and more looking at Larisa. She left them as fools several times, and Sergei declared that playing just for fun was boring. Evald suggested playing for a wish.

— "You asked for it, get ready to fulfill my will." — Larisa said playfully, dealing the cards. The guys silently exchanged glances. Now the game became more intense, and they became much more attentive. Larisa suddenly realized that beating them would not be easy at all. She tried to play as well as she could but lost three rounds in a row.

— "No luck." — Larisa tried to appear calm and cheerful, but her voice trembled slightly. — "Well, what do you want?"

— "You know what we want!" — Sergei said in a voice hoarse with excitement and licked his dry lips with the tip of his tongue.

— "Ice cream, probably?" — Larisa tried to turn it all into a joke. — "Let's get dressed and go back to the city."

— "Don't play the fool! We want YOU!!!" — Sergei rasped, standing up.

— "You're out of your minds! Give me my clothes right now and..."

Then Sergei grabbed Larisa from behind by the shoulders, threw her down with a jerk, and pinned her wrists to the sand.

— "Gray, hold her!" — Evald shouted and, taking off his swim trunks, pressed down on Larisa from above.

— "How dare you, you little shits! Let me go..." — then Evald covered her mouth, pressing his lips to hers in a long, passionate kiss. Larisa tried to free her hands, but Sergei's grip turned out to be very strong.

— "Boys, dears, stop! You've joked enough. We're friends, I'm old enough to be your mother." — Larisa muttered breathlessly as Evald began to caress and cover her breasts with kisses. She understood that something very wrong was happening, but she couldn't cope with the growing excitement.

— "Evald, dear, don't!" — Larisa whispered, weakening under his kisses, and when he entered her, she moaned loudly from the half-forgotten sensation.

Larisa, of course, was not a nun, but after divorcing Viktor, men appeared in her life from time to time, and she avoided serious, long-term relationships, devoting herself entirely to her son. She treated her colleagues in a friendly manner and knew how to keep them at a distance. Some even considered her cold and, half-jokingly, called her the Snow Queen. And now she was being raped by boys she had known for several years, whom she considered children and taught to play tennis. Larisa herself couldn't believe what was happening. She lay with her eyes closed and teeth clenched, Sergei held her wrists firmly, and Evald, panting and snorting, labored on top of her. His small, hard member moved inside her in jerks, making her emit sweet, drawn-out moans. The guy moved faster and faster, and Larisa realized he was about to finish.

— "Just not inside me, get off right now." — she whispered, gasping. Evald obediently rolled to the side and spilled his seed onto the sand. Sergei released her hands and began frantically taking off his swim trunks. Now she could jump up and try to run away or fight back, but Larisa no longer had the strength for that. Sergei pressed down on top of her and entered her with a jerk, making her cry out loudly. His member was far from childish; he moved inside her with powerful thrusts, making her swoon from sweet pain. Larisa's body became covered in sweat droplets and trembled as if in a fever, her head tossed on the sand, and drawn-out moans escaped her lips. Suddenly she tensed strongly, digging her nails into Sergei's back and leaving red streaks on it. A spasm passed through her body, she cried out loudly and went limp, breathing rapidly and heavily.

— "Look, Gray, she came!" — Evald exclaimed, his eyes wide open. Sergei made a few more thrusts, then pulled his member out of Larisa and covered her stomach with semen. He lay next to Larisa for a minute, then got up and started pulling on his swim trunks. Larisa lay helplessly on the sand, arms spread, eyes closed. A tear rolled down her cheek.

— "Aunt Larisa, Aunt Larisa." — Sergei squatted down next to her and took her hand.

— "Don't touch me, you bastard!" — the woman whispered.

— "Why are you swearing?" — Evald spoke up. His Baltic accent became more noticeable from the excitement. — "You enjoyed it. You came."

Larisa had indeed experienced a powerful and sharp orgasm and now despised herself for it. Now, as the excitement subsided, she understood especially clearly how wrong what had happened between her and these boys was.

— "Get out! Both of you, leave!"

— "Alright, alright." — Evald muttered sheepishly, — "We'll leave now."

The guys took their things and trudged away. Larisa still lay on the sand.

Suddenly Sergei returned and timidly touched her hand.

— "What now?" — Larisa asked in a tired voice.

— "Aunt Larisa, forgive us!"

She opened her eyes and looked at him carefully. The guy had tears in his eyes, his lips were trembling. Now Larisa herself took his hand.

— "Seryozha, no one must know about this. Understand? No one! Especially Misha."

— "No one will find out, I promise!"

— "Good, I'm counting on you. Now go."

Sergei stood up and trudged away dejectedly, hunched over and hanging his head. Larisa finally got up and went to the sea. She splashed in the waves for a long time, feeling the cool water refresh her and restore her strength.

— "Mom! Mama!" — Larisa turned her head and saw Misha waving at her. After dunking once more, she came out of the sea and, unashamed of her nudity, walked to her things. Misha had seen her naked before, but now she seemed especially beautiful to him. Dark-haired and brown-eyed, Larisa was not dark-skinned. Her skin was white and acquired a beautiful, golden tan in the summer. Misha adored his mother and saw her as the ideal of a woman. Frozen in delight, he watched her walk across the sand, illuminated by the sun's rays.

— "Mommy, you're so..." — Misha couldn't find the words. Larisa smiled tenderly at him and began to get dressed.

— "Mom, I just met Seryoga and Evald." — Misha didn't notice how his words alarmed Larisa. — "You know, they seem to have had a fight."

— "Why do you think that?"

— "Seryoga said that if Evald blabbed about something, he'd smash his face in, and Evald was scared and muttered that he wasn't going to talk. And when I approached them, they suddenly fell silent and hurried off somewhere. Do you know what happened between them?"

— "How would I know?" — Larisa lowered her eyes, — "Boys quarrel over all sorts of things."

They walked along the sand. Larisa was thoughtful, a sad smile sometimes flickering on her lips. Misha glanced sideways at his mother, understanding that something unusual had happened. The houses of the city outskirts appeared ahead. Larisa suddenly stopped and looked at her son.

— "Misha, we won't come to Pärnu anymore."

— "Because I'm going to the army in the fall?"

— "That's not it. We just won't come here anymore."

— "Why? Mommy, what happened?"

Larisa drew him to her and kissed him.

— "Nothing happened. We just will never come here again."

Mother and son, holding hands, walked through the streets, forever saying goodbye to the small seaside town they both loved so much.