Confession from the Other Side

— Spase” is dedicated to my like-minded woman...

Characters are fictitious. Any coincidence is considered random.

— Our life does not accept constancy,

And it’s easy to say goodbye, only some sadness

Occupies a small space in the soul,

If you look at the measured path from above.”

Rock band Time Machine, from early works.

I parked my Opel Astra in a parking lot next to the local shopping complex and turned off the engine. I spent half a day driving around the city looking for a heater, but I couldn’t find anything. Fatigue rolled over my eyelids and I dozed off. I haven’t slept for two nights in a row, doing

overtime work that suddenly piled up and I’m completely exhausted. Having overcome fatigue, I got out of the car and headed towards the store. Going inside and looking around the shelves, I finally found what I needed. On the shelf next to the pots and kettles there was an oil heater - what I had been looking for for so long.

— How much does it cost? - I asked the sales girl of this seedy china shop.

Wow, I went around the whole city, went to all the household goods and markets, and found it close by, not far from home. It’s strange, why didn’t you stop by right away?

— Girl, it’s discounted and the only one on sale,” answered the young saleswoman.

- And what is the reason? - I asked, hiding the car keys in my bag - is something wrong with him?

- No, it’s fully working, only in one place the paint is peeled off, out of the whole lot it’s the only one that came across and it was first bought, and then returned because this defect. But it is fully working, the defect is purely cosmetic, and because of this we even discounted it.

— Great, I’ll take it,” I answered, “what difference does it make where it’s scratched, as long as it works.” I'll take a can of car paint from the garage and paint it over.

Winter this year came to be unusually cold, the frosts hit suddenly and the heaters that were collecting dust on the shelves of local markets all summer and autumn, sold out instantly. My husband and I lived in a dacha and there was no gas there. The stove heating was bad and I was freezing all the time and had snot. I've been looking for this damn heater for the third day now and yesterday it wasn't in this store yet.

The saleswoman put up a stool and climbed on it. She reached up with both hands, taking out the heater from the top shelf. And my gaze was suddenly drawn to the girl. Her smooth graceful movements, perfectly slender legs in tight-fitting warm tights, a wasp waist and a straight back. Biting my lip, I silently watched as she handled the heavy machine. Apparently it was difficult for her, but there was so much elusive grace in the movements of her slender figure, as if a ballerina on the stage of a large theater was performing a complex dance. And I looked at her and couldn’t look away. The girl lowered the heavy radiator down and brought a cardboard package. She probably noticed that I was looking at her somehow differently and embarrassedly asked:

- Is something wrong? What, is the scratch big? — her face became covered with a pink blush and droplets of sweat, and for me it suddenly became desirable.

And what’s wrong with it? An ordinary girl, like hundreds of them around. But there was something about her... Subtly tender and attractive.

- No, no, everything is fine, it suits me - I answered and was ready to buy even a completely non-working and defective product, just to spend a little longer with her communicate.

I lived at the dacha with my alcoholic husband for the second year. I hated him and throughout the second year I divorced him. His parasitism, constant drinking and reproaches finally got to me. During the entire time that we lived with him, he didn’t hit a finger, didn’t hammer a single nail and didn’t lift anything heavier than a glass. He was fired from his last job a year ago for drunkenness at work, and since then he hasn’t even tried to look for another job. He drank every day and always found money somewhere for vodka, and in the area he owed all his neighbors the most, don’t play around. I worked two jobs at once and until the last I tried to maintain a semblance of a family home. I was incredibly tired, I wanted to spit on everything and I held on with all my strength. But after he hit me with his fist and gave me a huge black eye because I returned home too late in his opinion, I hated him. For some time now, some kind of change has occurred in me. And I realized this when I tried to find myself a lover. Why not, I thought. After all, in all ideal families, the husband always has a couple of lovers at his side, and the wife has the same thing - a lover, and sometimes even more than one. Or am I wrong? And in my situation, God himself commanded me to do so.

Because of the vodka, my husband’s condition has been gone for a long time, and he didn’t need it. Alcoholic drinks became the meaning of his life, but what should I do, should I go to a monastery? However, nuns are not saints either. The men at work, and in general, looked at me and all I had to do was let me approach them and give a hint, and that same evening I would be in the arms of a luxurious gentleman. A slender, long-legged thirty-year-old blonde, I knew everything about myself, that I was good-looking and even beautiful, but it wouldn’t be like this all the time, it, this time is running out and with I really didn’t want to spend the rest of my life as an alcoholic. His sickly appearance, worn-out face and shaking hands, and sometimes I felt sorry for him, I tried to treat him, coded him several times, took him to different clinics and dispensaries, but in vain. Finally, I gave up on it, and it was clear that he had finally exchanged me for vodka.

But me? What happened to me? Having flirted at work and exposed my legs, I finally found myself in bed with a handsome lover and suddenly realized that I was hurt and disgusted, and what he did to me suddenly turned out to be unacceptable. But it’s nothing like that! He fucked me in the usual classic way, and then I sucked him. And I felt nothing except pain and disgust. All I wanted most at that moment was for everything to end as soon as possible. And when it was over, I sighed with relief and didn’t make any more connections with men. I suddenly clearly realized that I was not attracted to lovers at all, I needed lovers! And like air. But there were none of those.

I literally went crazy with the slender girlish figures on the street and even gave signs to some of the girls I liked, but no one paid attention to me, and one of them twirled her finger at her temple and said: “Go get treatment!” And hopelessness and depression gradually fell on me. One day I went so far as to take off all my makeup, trim my hair and nails, and change into men's clothes. And in this form she went out onto the street. I was chasing all the skirts and I managed to meet a pretty girl. She took me to her home and we talked for a long time. When I dragged her into bed and the truth was revealed, she jumped out of bed and immediately kicked me out the door, finally promising that if I, a concerned lesbian, tried to harass her again, she would immediately call the police. I left then and cried all night.

One day, sitting in the office at my desk, my gaze accidentally fell on the next table, at which Lyubochka, my co-worker, was sitting, and I noted to myself what she has slender legs and beautiful knees. She chatted on the phone and didn’t pay any attention to me, but I couldn’t take my eyes off her full hips and the line of her short skirt. Lord have mercy, what am I, huh? And at night in a cold bed, suddenly, for no reason at all, this moment for some reason vividly surfaced in my memory and I clearly imagined myself kneeling in front of Lyubochka, how passionately I kiss her legs and go up, under her skirt and caress her between her legs. And she hugs me and presses me closer to her. I penetrate her cave with my tongue and caress the precious pea of ​​her clitoris. And she moans from excitement and happiness. Just the thought made me treacherously flow and began to masturbate, and I came very quickly and brightly. I fell in love. I fell in love with a girl and it was not normal. My husband was sleeping drunk on the other bed and didn’t hear me moan loudly and scream.

After that night, I began to show Lyubochka signs of attention, often approached her and, as if by chance, touched her face and full breasts. But she didn't notice anything. One day I came to work early and brought a bouquet of scarlet roses. I put them in a vase at Lyubochka’s work table. Appearing at her work place, Lyuba was surprised where such gorgeous flowers came from, she looked around the entire office over and over again, trying to solve the riddle. At the end of the working day, she carefully wrapped them in a paper bag and took them with her. I still didn’t dare to admit to her that this was not a gift from a fan. But soon I was deeply disappointed. One day after work, as usual, I walked into the parking lot and walked up to my Opel, and suddenly, in another foreign car standing nearby, I saw Lyubochka, who was being squeezed and kissed by someone a young guy and she exposed all her private parts to him.

They fucked hotly in the car right in the parking lot and a wave of burning jealousy flared up in me. I remember how I barely got there, breaking and crossing the double lane several times and driving through a red light, I kept thinking about myself and my misfortune. Well, why am I not like everyone else, what have I done wrong before God, why did he create me like this? Or maybe I made myself like this? When, how, in what way? Yes, and this is hardly possible. This seems to be my fate. Now I’ll accelerate my diesel engine to two hundred and straight into a concrete support, or better yet, under an oncoming Kamaz, for sure and quickly, without suffering. All night I cried inconsolably, cursing my fate and realizing that it would no longer be possible to change myself.

And so I stood in the store and looked at the sales girl. And I was again overcome by the same exciting feeling that I had previously experienced in relation to Lyubochka.

— Please help me,” the girl asked, “I need to put the heater in the package, I can’t do it alone.”

— Of course,” I answered and came close to the girl. She smelled of some kind of sexual freshness and something else, so exciting and alluring.

The girl put the box vertically and the two of us took on the heater, lifting it up and putting it into the cardboard box. At the same time, my hands kept clasping her tender fingers, and once my cheek accidentally touched her face. And I again treacherously flowed like a bitch. I caught her gentle breathing and barely restrained myself from kissing her on the lips. Finally, the heater was packed and the girl tied it with twine.

— This way it will be more convenient to carry,” she said, smiling sweetly, “you’re so flushed, are you feeling bad?”

- No, everything is fine, rather the opposite,” I mumbled and took out my wallet.

Having paid and leaving her the change, I raised the heater and headed towards the exit.

— Wait,” I heard her voice from behind.

I stopped and turned around. The girl looked at me and smiled mysteriously.

— It seems to me that you wanted to tell me something,” she said suddenly, out of the blue.

— I don’t know,” I answered and my tongue seemed to have grown to the roof of my mouth. Right now I had to tell her something, but I remained silent. I was afraid to tell her that I liked her and I wanted her, because she would send me to a psychiatrist, or even three letters, and she would do the right thing, and I didn’t want to step on the same rake as last time. There was no one in the small store except us, and the girl came out from behind the counter and came up to me.

— Nobody told you that you were beautiful? - she suddenly asked - and stretching out her hand to me, she ran her palm across my cheek, and with her thumb she moved along my lips.

From this light and probably indecent touch, I shuddered as if from an electric shock and a blissful passion permeated my whole body. I sighed heavily and said as if in a fog:

- Yes, they did.

— Probably the men spoke,” she said, “but the girls didn’t?”

— No,” I answered, blushing deeply, “you said it first, everyone else either sent it or insulted me.”

- Do you like me? - she asked again, imperceptibly switching to you.

And I answered:

- Yes, I like you. But how did you know, how did you understand?

- What is your name? - she asked again, ignoring my question.

— My name is Larisa,” I answered honestly.

- And I’m Nastya. It’s clear from you from afar that you like girls. It’s written all over your face and you’re blushing like a schoolgirl. This is great. You are so sexy!

- Do you like me? - I asked - do you also need girls instead of guys?

- Yes, otherwise I wouldn’t have started this conversation.

- What should we do? - I asked.

— Is it warm in your car?

- Yes. I can even make it hot.

- Then let's go.

The girl helped me take the box with the heater outside and locked the store. Then she helped me carry the heater to the car and put it in the trunk. We climbed inside, I started the engine and turned on the climate control to fully heat the cabin. I looked at Nastya. She looked openly straight into my eyes. Still, how good she is.

— Let’s go somewhere where there is no one,” I said.

— Do as you see fit,” she answered.

Turning the car around, I drove out onto the road and after some time parked in a forested park area that was deserted at this time of year. I looked at the girl again.

- What now? - I asked with excitement.

— Kiss me,” Nastya quietly asked and moved closer.

Catching her hot breath again, I swam. My lips of their own accord approached the girl’s lips and merged in a long and passionate kiss. Feeling for the button, I threw the seat back and we collapsed onto the makeshift sofa. Nastya, without taking her lips off mine, put her hand under my sweater and caressed my chest. And a jolt of bliss made me move forward. Then her hand went down and penetrated under the tights and thin panties. Tender girlish fingers stroked me between my legs and I moaned. Bliss overwhelmed me in powerful waves and I felt how these fingers penetrated inside and persistently stroked the clitoris. A crimson veil covered my eyes and everything between my legs instantly became wet.

I was gasping with happiness and felt the girl’s lips gradually descending towards my womb. Hot kisses slowly covered my stomach and below my navel, and then fell on my labia. I moved forward towards the caresses and moaned with happiness. Closing my eyes, I breathed heavily and hugged Nastya tightly, pressing her to me. I have never felt so good with any man. And even though I’m not like everyone else, women’s legs, and slender girls’ figures, their chiseled gentle faces act on me like a rag on a bull, I realized this too late, but here Now I have found my love and I will never give up on it. And for that matter, I’m ready to go to death for this love. Throwing my leg on Nastya’s back, I moved rhythmically to the beat of her caresses and felt that here it was, the desired orgasm was finally approaching. I felt its approaching enormous power and trembled. Trembling like an aspen leaf in the wind, I moaned languidly, forgetting about everything in the world. The unprecedented power of the orgasm that covered me exploded in my head into myriads of colorful stars and I, throwing my head back, lost consciousness.

When I came to my senses, I discovered that I was habitually sitting in the driver’s seat of my Opel. The car was parked not far from the hardware store where I had previously parked it. There was no trace of a forest park area. Passers-by scurried around and did not pay any attention to me. A vague uneasiness crept into my soul and I turned my head. And there was no one nearby. How can this be? What is this happening to me? Was there really nothing? Where is my Nastya? I jumped out of the car and ran into the store. An elderly salesman stood behind the counter and looked at me questioningly.

— Can you tell me something? What interests a beautiful lady?

— Heater... oil, I bought it from you today.

- No, there it is on the top shelf, but with a slight defect, it was bought yesterday, but not by you, but by a young man, and this morning he brought it back, the paint is a little peeled off in one place, but it’s fully working and if you want, I’ll get it.

What a nightmare, well, the roof went crazy because of my vulgar lesbianism. What will happen next? It remains to find out the last question.

- Tell me, Nastya, such a young saleswoman, where is she, can I call her?

- Girl, what a Nastya, you are clearly confusing something, I am the owner of this store and I can handle it completely on my own, without any nastya, Natasha and Marin. Have you not used it for an hour?

Slowly, as if in a thick fog, I went out into the street and walked to the car. Having opened the trunk, I didn’t find any heater there. Just in case, I rummaged around the corners with my hand, closed the trunk and got into the car. Tears flowed from my eyes by themselves, what is this, I don’t drink at all, why is this grief for me. How do you understand this, a dream or something? But this cannot be. Yes, it just doesn’t happen like that. And I clearly understood, but I was simply sure that with Nastya everything was real. What is this, some kind of prank? But who needs it, and is it even possible to play it like that? Impossible and unthinkable. How tired I am. And there is no one to feel sorry for. Okay, that's it, I've had enough!

I drove out onto the road and headed towards the highway. Driving past the post, I gradually picked up speed. Ahead of the route there was a sharp bend, behind which immediately there was a high and steep cliff into an abyss, where the dark waters of the river seethed below. Having accelerated the car to the limit, I broke through the fence and a second later the car was flying down the cliff. I was floating in the air and the wheels were spinning madly, finding no support. A dull thud was heard and the car fell through the ice. From the blow, everything swam before my eyes and darkness fell.

***

... I was lying on the sofa in the rest room and dozing. In the control room the call signal played and I heard the operator’s voice:

- Larisa Alekseevna, urgent call, you have an accident on the highway in front of Berezov, come on, faster.

I jumped up and on the way to the car I called:

- Sasha, Olesya, we have an accident, let's go quickly.

Everyone took their seats and the driver started the engine. A poisonous yellow Peugeot ambulance, flashing with flashing lights and a wailing siren, rushed off. On the way, I put on gloves and my paramedics did the same.

- Sasha, what’s in your backpack? — I asked

Two laryngomasks, three fastras, one angel air duct and a set of tubes with a laryngoscope, there is an ear cushion.

- Okay. Olesya, prepare a monitor and defibrillator.

— Larisa Alekseevna, you’re offending me, I’ve already checked everything and prepared everything, all that remains is to apply the electrodes to the patient.

The ambulance pulled up to the broken fence on the highway and I got out of the car. A traffic police inspector who was awaiting our arrival approached me.

- Doctor, you need to go down the path, there on the shore - he fell silent, pointing his hand down.

Взяв ящики и aппaрaтуру, мы спустились пo узкoй трoпинкe и вышли нa бeрeг рeки. Рядoм с крoмкoй льдa лeжaлo тeлo мoлoдoй дeвушки. Рaскинув руки в стoрoны oнa лeжaлa нa спинe и eё нeвидящий взгляд был устрeмлeн в нeбeсa. Нa лбу крaсoвaлaсь oгрoмнaя ссaдинa. Oкoлo нeё тoптaлoсь двoe сoтрудникoв МЧС. Oдин из них в oблaчeнии дaйвeрa дрoжaл и глoтaл из чaшки дымящийся кoфe. Былo виднo, чтo oн тoлькo чтo пoбывaл в хoлoднoй вoдe. Oн пoдoшёл кo мнe.

— Дoктoр, тут ужe, нaвeрнoe, поздно спасать. Oнa прoбылa пoд вoдoй слишкoм дoлгo и у нeё чeрeпнo-мoзгoвaя трaвмa. Тaм внизу нa двухмeтрoвoй глубинe eё мaшинa, oнa eхaлa oднa. Нaвeрнoe, зaснулa зa рулём, a мoжeт рулeвoe oткaзaлo.

Я склoнилaсь нaд тeлoм дeвушки. Крaсивaя кaкaя — oтмeтилa я прo сeбя. Убeдившись в нaличии признaкoв нaступившeй биoлoгичeскoй смeрти я всё жe скaзaлa:

— Oлeся, пoдсoeдини мoнитoр, Сaшa, дaй трубку пятёрку, лaрингoскoп и aмбушку.

Пoкa Oлeся мoнитoрирoвaлa, я быстрo зaинтубирoвaлa и сдeлaлa aмбушкoй нeскoлькo вдoхoв. Бeспoлeзнo. Сaшa тeм врeмeнeм пoстaвил кубитaльный кaтeтeр и ввёл дoзу aдрeнaлинa.

— Лaрисa Aлeксeeвнa, нa мoнитoрe aсистoлия — прoизнeслa фeльдшeрицa — oтсoeдинять?

— Oтсoeдиняй — oтвeтилa я — всё кoнчeнo.

Мы вeрнулись нa бaзу и у мeня пeрeд глaзaми дoлгo eщё стoял oбрaз погибшей дeвушки. Жаль девочку, такая красивая была. Ничего не поделаешь, несчастный случай. И почему судьба таких красивых и молодых не щадит? Сдaвaя смeну и сoбирaясь ухoдить дoмoй я вдруг прo сeбя oтмeтилa, чтo нe мoгу oтвeсти глaз oт пeрeoдeвaющeйся Oлeси. Кaкиe жe нoги у нeё крaсивыe и личико нежное, a фигуркa тaк вooбщe oтпaд. И пoчeму я рaньшe этoгo нe зaмeчaлa… Впрoчeм, o чём этo я. Мeня жe муж дoмa ждёт, нeбoсь жрaть хoчeт. Бoжe, кaк жe всё этo дoстaлo!

ARHIMED